I’m 27 weeks pregnant now. It’s gone so quickly. I’ve not been writing because I’ve been focusing on pretty much everything else that needs my time and attention.
I thought though, that it’s about time I started taking the time to write again. Although blogging on an iPhone isn’t much fun! I think Mr Santa might be getting a very short list off me this year… a laptop! I put off so much because I just can’t be arsed to deal with my phone…but I digress; I want to do more now because it’s bugging me that I’m not tracking this pregnancy in the same way I did Willows.
Despite that though, the boy will be told why when he’s older.
This pregnancy has taken a toll on me both physically and mentally. I’ve been suffering with SPD now for quite some time and it’s not really getting any better. Well, in fact, it’s gotten pretty bad. I’m now relying on crutches to help me get around when I need to leave the house. Silly as it sounds, I feel so embarrassed leaving the house with my crutches, I can’t really grasp why, I just feel really conscious about it.
Around the house it’s not too bad, I crack on. I sit when the pain gets too much, I do what I can when it’s bearable. I’ve resorted to admitting defeat most days and I take a nap. Not for the sake of it, but because I’m not sleeping well at night and I’ve found by midday I’m physically exhausted and in a lot of pain.
If I were able to take pain relief, I would. Sadly though, they cause me more aggravation than relief since they cause rebound headaches.
So, as I said, I’m just cracking on.
My whole second trimester has been dominated by the SPD and all of the SHITE that has come with it that isn’t the physical or mental aspect of it. Although connected to both I suppose. I had to go on “the sick” back at the end of September, with the intention of taking a week off work to rest. After that week was coming to an end, it stretched into a second week as I was still struggling with the SPD but also fighting a severe chest infection and taking antibiotics. Unfortunately I’ve not gone back to work since.
That in itself has caused issues. One being financially. Obviously, sick pay is pennies really, don’t get me wrong, it’s rightfully that way, but it’s pittance. So we’ve been up against it money wise. My work have made errors with my pay packets too, which on one had have helped, but on the other haven’t. There was also a brief moment where it was doubtful that I would be entitled to maternity pay. Thankfully it has been sorted so I will receive maternity pay. That helps. But the journey has been long!
Aside from those issues though, I have to admit that being out of work, despite being in agony, has its silver linings. I’ve been collecting willow from school now, which is nothing short of pure bliss! A bit less blissful since my new NHS issued accessories, but wonderful nonetheless. I’ve been cooking more, which is something I enjoy. And I’ve also had time to pick up with some crochet too, which really offers some mental respite. It’s also given me time to mooch around the house catching up with things that may never have gotten done while I worked. General tidying and decluttering has massively helped my mental health. At first I was able to do more than I am now, admittedly, but I still manage to keep the house tidy and presentable. A massive thing for me personally. I do begrudge the fact that I am unable to hoover or mop, clean out the dogs beds, or take washing up and downstairs/put away, amongst other (very annoying) things I’d really like to sink my teeth into! But as I said, I’m managing to keep on top of it. Yes, it takes me a copious amount of time in comparison to what I’d be able to do if I wasn’t in pain, which also drives me batshit. And as I said, having to rely on naps to get me through.
Coping though! That’s what I’ll say and I’m sticking with it haha!
(Kidding, I’m coping-ish!)
Yeah…so even though the weeks have flown, the days have dragged. I’m increasingly getting more and more fed up of being at home. I’m quite cross because autumn is my favourite season. I like to walk and enjoy the outdoors but I can’t. I mean, I’ve not even played Pokémon Go properly for AGES! That’s just cruel lol! I’d love nothing more than to wake up tomorrow morning and be freakishly cured by some unknown miracle, but I fear that will not happen and I am stuck with this nightmare for a few more months at least.
We can all dream though, eh?!